Not gunna lie: whenever I hear these types of question I really just want to rip somebody's neck off.
But not actually cause that is mean. But there is something inside of me that cringes, looks away and plugs its ears when hear these types of questions are being asked. Not necessarily because they are bad questions, but they always imply that either I'm not dong something worth talking about in the present or that I need to mature or learn this or that or something before I'm ready to fulfill my calling.
For the record, I'm pretty sure your calling has nothing to do with future events, but has everything to do with the right here and right now.
we read in 2 Timothy 8-12a of the holy calling that God has given to us and where that came from. When Paul wrote this letter to Timothy, Paul was suffering in prison, his final imprisonment before his death, and Timothy was ministering in Ephesus. In case you weren't aware, Ephesus was basically like the 'spiritually Disneyland' of the Ancient World. It hosted the temple of Artemis, where people would frequent the temple prostitutes in worship of her, and even though she was the most popular goddess to be worshiped, there were at least 50 other gods and goddesses that the Ephesians worshiped. Besides worship of gods and goddesses, there was a lot of idol worship and magic practiced. Through magic people would try and harness spiritual powers through rituals and incantations. This was the world where Timothy was called to minister - fully away that this letter from Paul would be the final one that he would receive from this man who considered him a beloved child. There would be no more direction on how to structure and lead the church. No advice on who to avoid, and no more kind words of encouragement from a man who Timothy knew deeply believed in him. Paul on the other hand was suffering in prison in Rome - not at all a pleasant place to be either. The prison Paul was said to be in was a small hole in the ground with no way out, and he was in there, suffering, cold and alone, knowing that the next stop for him was death.
This was the atmosphere of how Timothy read that he was called to a high calling from a man who, of all people, had the right to no longer have hope or keep his faith and to throw away the idea of a high calling.
[Make sure you read 2 Tim. 1:8-12a before continuing!]
In v.8 we read Paul encouraging Timothy to not be ashamed of the testimony that he has of Christ. Why would Timothy ever be ashamed of that testimony? Well in the culture it would have been incredibly tempting to throw away his faith - to put aside the testimony of Christ and to join in with the ritualistic lifestyle that made up the culture in Ephesus. Christians were persecuted in this culture - they didn't have the same rights and were often shunned for not participating in idol worship. Nero was the Caesar at the time, and he made sure that Christians suffered - he would often use them as human torches for garden parties that he hosted. This is but a taste of the torment that the Christians suffered, so it is easy to understand how it would be appealing for Timothy to turn aside from the Jesus he knew, to put away the testimony he knew, and to slide into living and participating in a culture that valued everything that was against what God hoped of his people. This is also why Paul continues in saying to share in the suffering for the gospel by the power of God. He wants to ensure that Timothy knows that God has him safely kept, and there is no need to be ashamed because in God he can endure the persecution that is set before him. It's in v.9 that Paul then offers the reason why Timothy should suffer - because he has been saved and had a holy calling set upon his life. And this holy calling is not something that Timothy manufactured on his own, it's not something that he started or was placed upon him once he started working on his own - we read at the end of v.9 that it was something that was placed on him, by the grace and purpose of God that was given in Christ before the ages began. When I read this I can think of only one thing that this means: that it was always God's purpose and plan to have Timothy minister in Ephesus, to serve the people there, and to offer the power of Jesus Christ to Timothy in order to endure in ministry. God won't just abandon Timothy to what it is that God called Him to do, what God divined and defined for him to accomplish. That's not who God is - He promises that he is faithful. And we know this because of how Paul continues in v.10 when he says that the purpose has now been manifested through the appearing of our Saviour Christ Jesus.
Hopefully you're tracking up til now, and if you are, you are likely now thinking, "Okay...but what does that mean?" Well. Let me try and explain. This took me a bit to comprehend. But what I think Paul is trying to say here is that God's plan was always to have Christ enter this world and abolish death, bring life and immortality to us. This is how He saves us - through Christ. It's an affirmation that our God is a God of order and purpose; that He sent Christ to save all people, showing his deep love and grace for His children. It shows that He cares about what people do with their lives, and this is what Paul is trying to impress upon Timothy: that there is a reason why he needs to do what he does. It's all for the God who saved Him, a God who purposed Him to Ephesus and will not abandon him in the mess of the culture he's in; that even when Paul is gone, it will be well because God is the only reason ever for doing life. Paul then goes on in v.11 to share that this is why he suffers as he does - because there is something so set inside of him that knows that God called him to share the best news that the world could ever offer - the hope, grace, and love of Christ. This is Timothy's high calling: to share the love of Christ with the world that he's been placed in. Paul admonishes his beloved child to continue in his calling as leader of the church in Ephesus and reminds him that this message he carries, the gospel of truth and grace, is something worth suffering for. That loving people is worth suffering for. And that it's not about waiting on more affirmations from Lord before stepping out and doing something about it - but it's about ministering right now where he's at; that there is no reason to wait because there is so much at hand to be done. There were so many people in Ephesus who didn't know the gospel truth; there were so many people who had never known or been told about or experienced the love of Christ, and it was Timothy's calling and privilege to share just that.
And how is our world different then Ephesus? We may not have idols in the form of statues or temples for gods and goddesses here in North America - but there are so many other things that distract us and capture our attention. There are so many things that hold us back from walking in our full height in our calling. Which brings us back to this: what is your calling? I said at the beginning that I don't think it has nearly as much to do with future events as much as it has to do with the right now, today. And how often do we get caught up in wondering when God will "tell us our calling" or we wait around as if it's a TV special that is going to start at a certain time?
Sometime in about the second month of SBS I was spending a lot of time considering my future and my calling in youth ministry. I have a huge heart, as many of you know, for the Christian school and seeing reform within that system, and a shift to more discipleship focused experiences. It's my hope that one day God will open a way for me to pioneer disciple programming in Ontario. I would love to spend a few months visiting all of the Christian high schools in Ontario engaging with students, teachers and parents to find out how they feel about Christian education to find out how "Christian" it is and how much "education" it is, and from their move to creating more of a balance. I wrote a letter to the executive director of the OACS, and sent it off to my friend to have her edit it. A week or so later I was laying awake, contemplating this letter and what I want to do, and how the heck God will allow all of this happen - because traveling around Ontario and talking with kids about who Jesus is doesn't exactly have a pay cheque attached to it, nor do I have the finances to take on such a feat on my own. I was worrying about, hoping for it, praying about - when God asked me something. He said, "would you be willing to give up your dream in order to support someone else's?" I thought this was totally a question out of left field, and I responded with an adamant "no" because why would I give up my dream? This is my dream - my God given and inspired dream. This is something I have worked the past 4 and half years for, what I submitted to going to university for, and what I am studying the Bible for 9 months for. He couldn't just ask me to give it up.
But that's apparently what He was doing.
A few mornings later I was in the kitchen for breakfast prep, once again lost in thoughts about my future and considering this question God has asked of me - wondering it's meaning, hoping for answers. I was so lost in my own thoughts while stirring the oatmeal that I simply had no concept of what was going on around me. It was then that I heard, "just look up," as I did, I observed everyone going about their business. Aran and Johanna were working together to get the Canadian bacon fried up. Erik was chopping away at the green peppers, while Alex cut the carrots. Natalie was helping Eirik and Chloe get the biscuits together with cheese and the already fried bacon. Taa was wandering about finishing up the little details of things - just being Taa. And it was then that I was struck with something: This is family. This is where I belong. This feels so incredibly right. This is bliss. This is happiness. This is a part of my calling - whatever that calling is. And then it hit me: how could I get to so focused on the future and risk missing out on the present?
Knowing what my calling is means walking out in love everyday. Timothy would receive letters of encouragement and instruction from Paul, but ultimately the purpose of those letters was to affirm that he was doing well in walking out his calling - that he was loving people, caring for them, ministering to them, just as God had always planned and purposed for him. Christ came just the same for us - that we could walk out what God purposes and plans for us. And for Timothy it wasn't conditional - it wasn't Paul saying, "after I die, you should start this," or, "you should wait for God to direct you first," or even, "wait for clarity from God, then go for it." No, it was "God has saved you and called you to a high calling now, today, right here - so go do it, even if it means you might suffer."
And God speaks the same thing to us. We need to stop waiting around for the future to come and start walking in purpose and calling now, and trust that as we move forward we will together with God continue to clear the path for us to keep walking.
Back home I live on a maple syrup farm, and before we started production 3 years ago we had to clear a lot of bush in order to get my dad's old sugar shack from the thick of the bush to it's new location. I wasn't working much at the time, and being the child at home, I was recruited to help clear it. I recall at one point telling my dad I felt like a pioneer woman. He told me if I was a pioneer woman I likely woulda had a baby slung around my hip and I'd be working in a dress. I didn't complain after that. Anyways when we first started we were in a field, tearing down small cedars and others bushes. This part wasn't so bad, but it led to a lot of scratches on my arms and legs and a whole lot of slivers. All the small (and extremely annoying) limbs and cedars that grew in the field had to be piled high so we could burn them eventually. Then we hit the forest. There was no way in. We couldn't even see the sap shack it was so deep in. I recall staring at the work ahead and wishing there was an easier way. This would mean weeks more of getting up early and hauling tree trunks heavier then myself out of the way. It would mean getting wet and being tired and getting wood chips stuck in my shirt pockets for the rest of my life and having calloused man hands for weeks. We had to cut down big oaks, aspens, birches - Dad took the chainsaw to all of them (he was careful to avoid any maples that had potential). And I worked to haul them away - stacking the stackable pieces in piles that we could later use to heat the house, and carrying the useless branches into the parts of the bush that we would remain untouched. Slowly the way cleared. Slowly we could walk through without any big limbs or branches in the way, til finally we were able to put the old sap shack on a trailer and tractor it out. The process took weeks, but eventually we did clear a way to get the shack through.
I feel like that process is incredibly similar to walking out in our calling. Often we have dreams and hopes and longings of where we want to be, but we spend more time looking through the trees at the sap shack, considering the amount of work it will be to get it to us, rather then starting to clear the way to get it out and share it with the world. We stand on the edge of the forest praying that God will show us what to do that would get us out of the hard work, the hauling of tree limbs and burning of piles of brush and the calloused man hands. There will be parts of our calling, experiences of giving it all we have just to get skinned knees and scratched arms. Does this mean we should stop? Definitely not. Is God more faithful then any pain the world could have us experience? Most definitely.
Walking out our calling means getting our hands dirty today - it means loving people now, taking all the seemingly pointless and baby steps and engaging in the present, being grateful for this part of the journey of your calling, doing what honours God and allowing passion to ignite your life today. My calling is not Erika-defined and divined. It is God defined and divined. And just as Timothy continued to walk out his calling despite not knowing what would happen, how his calling would change the world or make an impact or effect the crazy culture that he was in, he endured. He had to trust that God would fill in wherever he fell short or wondered, "what next?" He had to just keep walking in love, sharing his passion with the world he knew and was called to love.
There's a video that I want to leave you with that always inspires me to keep on walking out what I love now, to keep walking in my calling despite the fact that there are times when I don't seem to understand or know what it is anymore. In it the kid basically asks, "what your passion and calling?" but in his own little, precious kid way. And then he tells you to do it - to make something awesome happen today.
Awesome doesn't happen when we sit around, waiting for our calling to start or for life to happen. Awesome starts today because we walk it out now. Awesome happens when we honour God with our lives by walking out our passions and showing people that we love and appreciate them today. Fulfilling your high calling means all of this today - you will learn as you go, you will get hurt, and you will be picked back up by a God who loves you and has saved you and offers you so much grace that you'd be sinking if it was an ocean.
God is good, you are good, and your calling is today - and it is good.
be blessed, friends.
erika
