Thank you so much to everyone who has graciously prayed for me in the past week or so. I am overwhelmed how not only people have sought the Lord on this, but the amount of people that the Lord has spoken to in return. It is so humbling to know that He is nudging peoples hearts and fighting for me in this way. He is awesome. Almost all of the finances have come together. There will be continued costs throughout the year, so if you are ever led, the "Donate" button won't be going anywhere. Your continued prayers are also more than appreciated - and if you wish to be added to my prayer calendar there are still several dates that need to be covered! Shoot me a text/email/FB message and I will get you some dates! If you missed what I am talking about in all of this, check out what I wrote here. On a side note, for those of you interested in having my mailing address in Montana, I will willingly get it to you via email or FB (and I hope to collect yours in return!) - I would rather not post it publicly on my blog, which I am sure many of you understand.
On to some other things. This past week was wonderful. I was able to visit different friends and say my "see ya later's" across the province of Ontario. I enjoyed many long conversations, laughing fits and times praying with so many amazing, blessed, kind and caring children of the King. I love being a part of this world. I traveled from Whitby - Exeter - St. Mary's through Stratford (beauty town) - Listowel - Ancaster - Burlington - Stoney Creek - Ancaster again - Mississauga and finally home! I ate McDonald's for the first time in over a year when I enjoyed lunch with my Grandpa - he had coupons and I didn't have the heart to tell him that I try to avoid fast food (not necessarily because I don't like it - more because once I start eating it, it's hard to stop!!). But he's too precious to pass up time with, so I reveled in eating my McNuggets and crispy, salted fries and his retelling of old stories and his most up-to-date health ailments (he had just been at his Dr. that morning). I love that man. I could likely go on about all the other amazing people I was able to spend time with - either over poutine, KD, or tea; budgets approvals, thoughtful conversation or drawn out explanations. I should say that I finally graduated this weekend as well, which is crazy since I never had any desire to graduate from University before - but I am an official Redeemer Alumni now! When my grad was finally over, all the "congratulations" and "goodbyes" had been said there, it felt really odd knowing I didn't have anywhere left to go but go home. And so here I am! After a day of rest and looking ahead to my final week home before jetting off to the west, I thought it would be best to give you all a little update, as well as offer you my next section of some of my thoughts on modesty.
I was encouraged by one of my Profs at the grad (and also in my final paper for him) that he is expecting a book from me [on this topic] at some point in the future - so who knows? My first year at Redeemer he called me out on the first paper and mentioned that I should consider writing a book. At the time I was blogging, but writing a book was never on my radar. We'll see how this year goes, and from there we'll see if a book is written! I will keep all of you faithful readers informed, and your prayers for this are always appreciated. In regards to 'hoping for mystery', there is a section here entitled "The Men." As a woman I don't often think about this, and so a lot of the thoughts there have been gleaned from conversations with guys, friends and boyfriends of friends, as well from different blogs written by men. I hope you enjoy part two - and stay tuned for part three sometime next week! (If you missed part one, I recommend reading it first by clicking here).
The Revelation
Finally, after several long and drawn out conversations with friends about what to wear and what not to wear, I felt I had struck gold. I was sipping on my caramel latté, laying out the issue of modesty to a sister in Christ, when suddenly I felt it all made sense.
I had been wrestling with where respect came in if I am comfortable enough in my body to clothe it with what I wanted, when I wanted and where I wanted when I realized that I cannot just dress for me. In fact, I do not even know if I can just dress for me and God. One blog I had read over a year ago got me thinking that maybe God does not care so much about my wearing of a short skirt as much as He cares how the actions I took reflected my heart while wearing said skirt. However, I felt strongly that if I just left it at all that I would still be missing a key piece to this seemingly complicated puzzle. It was then I realized that I cannot just dress for me and God if I do not factor in the third party of this little group, the husband that I expect to have standards for my life. On a personal level, I could stop considering what I wear at what makes me comfortable. It would not be fair to stop there, though, because then I could justify walking around Wal-Mart in nothing but my “birthday suit” because “hey! I’m comfortable with who I am.” This is often where the reasoning stops in our culture. We see women bearing all they have and other women and men applauding them for being so comfortable in their own skin. We see people push the clothing envelope and dress in ways that are completely unacceptable to witness at any age – yet this is extremely commonplace, especially when it comes to the celebrities we all know and admire. Most recently I was watching a video clip where two of the talk show hosts, both women, were critiquing an outfit that actress and singer Miley Cyrus wore to the Teen Choice Awards. The younger, likely in her mid-20’s, of the two hosts says, “I thought it was way too risqué for the Teen Choice Awards and all of her young fans,” putting emphasis on “Teen Choice Awards”, to which her older, almost motherly, co-host responds, before Chloe is even done with her sentence, “Oh, Chloe, are you a church lady?” If I stopped with modesty being about myself and my comfort, I sell myself short of the excitement of mystery that sexuality holds and that our culture has so tactfully destroyed. As much as culture seems to devalue the mystery, they still seem to glean from the church that there is something about sexuality and modesty that is relevant and exciting or else they would never consider it a response to a comment about extremely revealing clothing.
I am also not satisfied to limit modesty to being just about me and Christ, as I would again feel that I was selling myself short of the entire purpose of being modest. That is to say that when it comes to God, as I mentioned earlier, I am not sure that He really cares about the length of my skirt as much as the actions I take while wearing the skirt. He sees the posture of my heart and the intentions of my soul, and as the LORD says to Samuel in response to Samuel not understanding how David could be chosen as the next King of Israel, “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) I feel this concept is reiterated in Matthew 12:33-37 when Jesus is talking about being a good tree and bearing good fruit and that, “the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” (Matthew 12:35) God sees whether or not we are doing things out of selfish motivation or vain conceit. He knows whether or not I am wearing the skirt to get attention and distract or if I am just wearing it because I think it is cute. Body type and proportions also impact our perceptions of modesty and the choices we make. This happens quite often in high schools with girls and shorts. I cannot count how many conversations I have had with young girls who are frustrated with the fact that their bodies, the ones that God designed and planned especially for them, cause them so much grief on the basis of what they chose to put on that morning. I know many girls who honour God and love the Lord, yet feel so much shame because their legs are too long to wear a pair of shorts that would be deemed perfectly acceptable on a girl inches shorter than them. It is awful to know that just as the secular world has carved the path of having no boundaries on the wearing of clothes, the Christian world has laid down rules and regulations on women that end up not freeing them to respect others around them, but bring shame and frustration. In this the church also seems to apply a weakness to men that simply is not justified. (read a well articulated article on "The Myth of Male Weakness" here). I believe there are men out there who are not weak. I believe there are men out there that exist who can control their lust. If men have the mental capacity to undress a woman in a matter of seconds, I would like to think that God gave them the mental capacity to dress them back up. I believe there are men out there who will notice the girl on the beach with the one-piece swimsuit on and wonder why she feels the need to stand out when everybody else wants to blend in.
The Men
In order to not make this a sexist issue and continue to suggest that modesty is all about the woman, I need to address where the role of men comes in all of this. Again, it is wise to start at the beginning and take notice that God created man first. From there we can read through Scriptures and come across dozens and dozens of stories where God entrusted men with tasks, jobs and responsibilities beyond their capacity to actually accomplish. Throughout the Bible men are the ones who are called to submit to God. Culture cannot sit around and tell me that man is weak and man will fall into lust every time when we men in Scripture encountered lust, came face to face with it and resisted it. The most obvious example of this is the experience that Joseph had with Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39). I think men lose their sense of purpose when all around them culture dictates what they should be doing. They get caught up in habits that are easier submit to, as visual beings, than to submit to a God who is unseen and a purpose that is unknown. God wired the brains of men to be visually stimulated, and that as much as the eyes of man are “never satisfied” (Proverbs 27:20) we seem to give men very little responsibility to control that craving. Culture plays a huge role in this from the ease of access to pornography, to allowing sexually graphic and explicit scenes in PG rated movies. This sets men up to not even have to engage in relationship, cultivating commitment issues and unrealistic expectations that deflect them away from even asking a woman out to coffee. This is a far stretch from modesty only being a woman’s problem because if men were not a part of it, there would not be an issue to begin with. But to begin with, man was created and then woman. Man was first given a high charge, being placed in the Garden of Eden and entrusted with the care of that great, wonderful, honoured place (Genesis 2:15). Man was then given the opportunity to be exhibit integrity by following the command to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:16-17). The Lord then called man to demonstrate responsibility in finding a mate by presenting every animal to him, and when no suitable helper was found the Lord put man to sleep (Genesis 2:19-21a). It is here where men do not stop, like they should as the Lord calls them to, but plough through, looking for and finding the forbidden fruit. With no thought of all the things he had been entrusted with, he takes and eats, as if nothing else ever needed to exist ever again except what woman offered.
Maybe – just maybe – if man took more time to pause and settle in to their caring, honourable, integrity filled purpose that had admirable responsibilities attached to it, they would be patient, excited and grateful when the right woman is finally presented to them (Genesis 2:22-23). And I think men are rarely called to this standard, and so with no standard to live up to men flounder in a culture searching desperately for the life raft that cannot be seen.
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