dearest friends.
If you've made it here, thank you. What you're about to read is extremely difficult to admit and ask for. In fact, my flesh is telling me not to do this, but Holy Spirit is challenging me to write. During the past several months of waiting on God and seeing provision come in has been amazing. However there is still some work left to do. Through this whole process the Lord has been stretching me, and we're in the final bit of stretch (I think? maybe?) What's left to be done isn't easy: I have to admit I'm the weakest. That I cannot do anything about this. That there is no such thing as being 'independent' when you're chasing after a God who just wants to be your all as you are all His. And that's where I'm stuck. I'm stuck because I always want to do things on my own. I never want to ask for help. It's hard to ask for prayer. It's not easy to admit you're the chiefest of sinners. I'm in need of depending on God, and He is challenging me to ask others to witness. My biggest fear in all of this, of being this honest, is the rejection. Anybody who reads what I am writing has the ability to discard what I am asking, or to percieve what I am writing as dishonest and trivial. I risk being judged, scorned and hurt with this, and that is what scares me the most. But God is a God who is full of love, and I am asking you to help me trust that God.
As many of you are aware in just a few short weeks I'll be transitioning to Montana to spend 9 months studying Scripture with Youth With a Mission taking their School of Biblical Studies program. The course uses an inductive Bible study approach to allow students to critically look at and apply Scripture to our lives. Emphasis is put on teaching the historical context of each book, and discerning what is still applicable today as a timeless truth. I am really excited about this amazing opportunity to further my call in ministry, and I have no doubt God will use this experience to deepen my knowledge of Him that will provide me with a stronger foundation to teach and minister to youth.
With such a step in my journey, however, come some mountains
that I need to move - and I realize time and again that I just cannot move
these on my own. I am asking for your
prayers for this as I am still in need of about $2,300 $1,450 to cover the cost of the
tuition for the school. God has been
amazing and used so many people (including several of you) to help move this
mountain - but there is just a little bit left.
I hope you will join me in prayer as I hope in Christ that He will
provide for this as this is hard to bear on my own. I constantly wonder what more I can do, and I
keep coming to dead ends except for Jesus saying to me, "Just be you and
be loved by me." This is SO hard
when you want to do something about a situation, but you just can't. It is humbling to have to ask for help, and
as much as I thought the Lord had humbled me enough, I was wrong. I need to fully rely on Him for all my needs,
the biggest of which right now is a financial burden that I can't articulate
myself.
I ask that you commit to praying for me for a few minutes
when you read this, and that the Lord would open doors to make a way for me to
attend the SBS. I have felt strongly
about attending this YWAM program in Montana, and God has already provided
several affirmations and a significant portion of the finances needed.
If the Lord leads you, donations can be accepted through
PayPal by following the link on the right side of my blog - if you need to, you might need to scroll down (or up?) until you see the "Donate" button. If you are led and are able, any donation
will go extremely far! However, I understand that many of you are already committed to other extremely worthy causes, missionaries and organizations, as well as having your own financial obligations. I understand this! This is why I first ask for your prayer. Nothing God ordained can come without prayer, and it is the backbone of any goodness or redemption we will ever witness.
If it helps you to commit to assisting me in any way, I will make some
commitments back to you:
1. Please never hesitate to email if you ever need
prayer. I would be more than happy to
enter the throne room on your behalf.
The Lord loves you as His child and would do anything for you. It would be my honour to seek Him with you and for you.
2. For every person that donates $5 or more I will give up a
day of buying Starbucks. Many of you
know I am a local "buxie", and even though I have cut back
significantly over the past 6 months (I used to go every day, now I maybe go a
few times a month!), I would still love to go often, especially for the
fellowship I enjoy with other regulars.
However, I will commit to not purchasing any drinks there if you commit
to helping me in this journey. That
said, if 100 people donate $5 or more, I won't buy anything from Starbucks for 100 days. Make sense?
I hope you consider helping me in one way or another. I especially covet your prayers as I know and
have experienced the power of prayer.
God loves when we seek Him, and He loves to provide for us. Join me in waiting on Him to see this happen
for SBS.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and
consider my struggle with me.
The song in the video below has been on my heart for nearly 24 hours. I fell asleep to it and I woke up to it. I need to trust that God will come through for me. I hope you can trust with me. These words encourage me to know that all God wants is to be with me - to be with you. To love on us a little longer. Thank you for being loved. Thank you for loving.
Blessings and love,
erika
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